Why We Lie

After reading the article "Why Are You Lying?" there are four reasons why a child lies.

(1) Fear. According to the article fear is a common motivator for lying. A child might lie because they're scared of the consequences. They know they did something wrong and they lie because they don't want to get into trouble. This builds a temporary shelter for punishment. The article states that allowing rooom for negotiattion, compromise, listening before accusing, and keeping your volume down usually helps in paving the way for more honest communication. I agree, when I was younger I would lie all the time so I wouldn't get into trouble with my parents because I already knew how they were going to react. However, it only delayed my punishment until my parents found out the truth. I used this particular cartoon to illustrate how people would lie because of fear of consequesces. In this case the cartoon depicts a lawyer suggesting that they lie in court because they know they won't win becauses the lawyer and defendent both know that he's guilty.

(2) Habit. The article uses "lie by reflex" to explain why it becomes a habit for a child to lie. Through constant practice, lying can become a habit for a child. It's so bad that when the child is caught in their lie and confronted , they still insist that they're telling the truth. The article states that habitual lying is often strengthened by hostile confrontation and one of the most effective ways of dealing with habitual lying is to give the child an opportunity to retract the lie without fear of consequences. Again, I agree. I lied so much when I was younger and it eventually became a habit like the article says. When I look back on it now, it's funny, I lied so
much I began to believe my own lies.

(3) Modelling. Modelling is when a child is in enviorments where they are experiencing others lie. The dilemma is that it is impossible to sheild children from lies. The first place a child may learn how to lie is in their homes. It's because of what some parents do in moderation. For example a "white" lie, or a "harmless excus." Children pick up on things like that. The article states that since it is difficult for parents to control the lies that children may encounter outside the home, it is more useful to start eliminating lis from within the home. Make telling the truth a priority both in instruction and by example. I agree, the first place to diciplin a child so they won't lie is at home. The reason why I chose this particular cartoon as an exaple to illustrate modelling is because it is a pefect example, the father is implying that it is ok for is son to lie but only in certain situatons. A kid gets that from his father then he's going to think its ok and he's going to do it.

(4) Overprediction. The article states that children also lie because they overpredict a reaction. A chid might use an excuse such as "I didn't ask you because I knew you were going to say no." According to the article one of the most productive ways of preventing overprediction is to provide a child with clear boundaries, and yet emphasize that these boundaries are negotiable. Making up the rules as you go along, and far too many "don'ts" and restrictions can promote a lying child. I agree, come to a a compromise with clear boundaries with your child can prevent overprediction.

Madeleine Brand talks with Po Bronson who wrote about the topic for New York Magazine